The Horror. The Horror.
Cubs Lose Game, Dignity, Souls in 10-6 Defeat

Adam Lyons/Getty Images

Where to begin after yesterday's abomination? Let's start with Carlos Zambrano, who gave up three runs before he got an out. But the rest of the team wasn't stellar, either — the Pirates, who have one of the worst offenses in MLB, scored 10 runs. Piniella took a swipe at management after the game, saying his hands are tied when it comes to the bullpen. "We don't have many options," he said when asked if Zambrano would stay in his setup role. "Outside of (Carlos) Marmol, we haven't had a right-hander here who gets any hitters out with any consistency at all." This is getting ugly.

ESPN Chicago: HR, five hits each for McCutchen, Jones vs. Cubs [+ video]
Daily Herald: Pirates tag Zambrano in Cubs 10-6 loss
MLB: Cubs' pitching doesn't follow bats' lead [+ video]

Z Is for Zero
Big Z Failing in 'Pen. In Other Shocking News, the Sky Is Blue.
So the criticism is starting to come in: Zambrano in the bullpen simply isn't working. Big Z topped out at a meager 91 mph yesterday and his curveball simply didn't curve, notes ESPN's Bruce Levine. Zambrano's ERA as both a starter and a reliever is above 7.00, Levine adds. View from the Bleachers says the experiment has failed, saying, "Leaving Zambrano in the pen permanently means Jim Hendry looks completely incompetent for the contract given to Z after the 2007 season that has ultimately resulted in a very expensive 8th inning guy."

ESPN Chicago: Zambrano not suited for the setup role
View from the Bleachers: Funtastic Friday: Am I a horse?
The Heckler: Cubs selling Zambrano's contract on Groupon

Boppers Bopping
Cubs' Big Hitters Starting to Hit (FINALLY)
There are clearly many problems with this year's Cubs, from the Stevie Wonder-caliber defense to the John Grabow-caliber pitching. But one of the biggest problems has been the crapsville batting of Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee, the Cubs' erstwhile big boppers. Well, there are signs they might be coming out of their funk: Lee has raised his average to .230, while Ramirez has been hitting the ball hard and went 2-for-5 yesterday. Now about that Grabow character....

MLB: Heart of cubs' order starting to beat

The Bucs Don't Stop Here
This Is the Team That's Owned the Cubs This Year
So the Pirates have beaten the Cubs every game they've played so far this year. The thing is: They're not a good team. Before yesterday's game, SI's Tom Verducci wrote, "You will be hard pressed to find a sorrier display of hitting than the Pirates have put on this week." They scored five runs over four games, and became the first team in 10 years to go consecutive games without a run or walk. And Garrett Jones, the guy who homered and drove in five runs yesterday? Before his nutso game, he was hitting .227 with one homer since the third game of the season. Ouch.

Sports Illustrated: Mariners' mess, Pirates' sinking ship, and the rise of the NL

Where's the Beef?
Combo of Beef and Sausage? We Like.
Some things are just meant to go together. Simon & Simon. Peaches & Herb. April Wine and rock*. Add Italian beef and sausage in one heart-stopping sandwich to that esteemed list. Agony & Ivy calls this double-stack of awesomeness "pretty darned tasty" and notes you can get it with giardiniera, sweet peppers, and grilled onions, at the upper-deck restaurant area. And while you're eating, you can look out on all of Wrigleyville spread out before you like a patient etherized on a table. It's a feast for all the senses. As Mae West said, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."

*Check out the vintage WLUP T-shirt April Wine's front man Myles Goodwyn is rocking in the video. Completely kick ass.

Agony & Ivy: Concession review no. 3: Italian combo sandwich

ESPN: The Magazine polled 100 players, and former Cub Kyle Farnsworth was named the baddest man in the majors. After seeing him take down Paul Wilson a few years back, we can't argue with the finding.... Former Cubs pitcher Jason Marquis had elbow surgery, which should quiet the millions of "Bring back Marquis!" chants we've been hearing.... Yesterday's Fan Report erroneously stated Jeff Samardzija was drafted in the first round. He was actually drafted in the fifth round of the 2006 draft, which makes that no-trade clause even more bewildering. Sorry for the mistake.

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*Don't be a Sox fan... be clever. If it's smart enough, we'll publish it here.
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