All Is Not Wells
Pitcher Gets Pounded in 1st Inning, Cubs Lose

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

You've got to hand it Randy Wells: If you're going to suck, you may as well completely, utterly, and hopelessly suck. That's what he did yesterday, giving up five runs to the Cards before even getting an out. (This is the second time in 10 starts that Wells has allowed five runs in the first inning, and he's 0-3 with a 6.48 ERA in May.) Offensively, the Cubs again couldn't get that big hit and scored a meager one run. Indeed, the offense has averaged a mere three runs over the last seven games. But back to Wells: Given his rough outings lately, we're thinking maybe Gorzelanny shouldn't be the one who heads to the bullpen when Zambrano hits the rotation next week.

ESPN Chicago: Cards score five in first, coast past Cubs [+ video]
Chicago Tribune: Cubs' Wells chased in 7-1 loss
Chicago Sun-Times: An issue of crowd control
Daily Herald: Cards come out swinging, Cubs go down quickly
MLB: Cubs can't overcome Wells' short start [+ video]

Trading Japanese
Should the Cubs Send Fukudome to the South Side?
Here's some bad news: Kosuke Fukudome has shown signs recently of doing his annual fade. If that's the case, maybe he could use a change of scenery — and maybe that means heading to the South Side. The Daily Herald throws this one out there: What about turning the Japanese outfielder into a White Sox in exchange for Carlos Quentin? The moody right fielder "looks like a prime candidate for a scenery change," the Herald writes. "He made a serious MVP run in 2008 before breaking his wrist on Sept. 1, and the 27-year-old outfielder has been scuffling ever since." We'd have to say thanks but no thanks to that one, but it's an interesting one to ponder.

Daily Herald: Do you make this crosstown trade?

Ban the Fan
'Real Fan' Is Real Stupid, Blog Says
Everyone likes recycling. It's something we can all agree on, kind of like puppies, pizza, and the facial hair of the dudes in Molly Hatchet. But the blog And Counting says they're not enamored with the Cubs' latest slogan: "Real fans recycle." The blog writes, "I find it entirely silly to evaluate the fanhood of my fellow enthusiasts... To be a real fan, I believe technically you have to be a real person." Interesting.

And Counting: Are you a real Cubs fan?

'Tis Better to Give Than Receive
Dempster Offers Cubs Some of His Salary. Seriously.
File this one under "Holy crap." It's coming out now that Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster deferred some of his salary in the off-season for the good of the team. Apparently, the goateed Canuck told the Cubs he'd defer $3 million of this year's salary over the next three years at little to no interest, which allowed the Cubs to sign Xavier Nady. (For the record, Dempster makes $12.5 million a year.) Wow. Who can say anything bad about that? Not us. In fact, given the good press he's going to get here (and the fact that he's going to get his money anyway), we wonder why more players don't do this. We're looking your way, Aramis....

ESPN Chicago: Dempster deferred $3M to help Cubs

Catch Ball, Drink Beer
Baseball and Beer Combined in One Fell Swoop
It's hard to describe this video without giving it away. Then again, we're not exactly talking about the ending of "Citizen Kane" here. Basically, an Atlanta Braves outfielder throws a ball into the bleachers during batting practice. A tall dude catches it in his beer (nice), then does something that would make any frat member green with envy. Enjoy.

YouTube: Beer catch and chug

The walking wounded trio of Ramirez, Baker, and Zambrano are all healed. We still think Baker's going temporarily blind in a game will be one for the books... We love the Blackhawks, and we think the whole helmet-on-the-lions thing at the Art Institute is cool. But if you're going to the Cubs/Cards game, remember that your red Hawks gear is the same color the Cardinals wear... The Cubs averaged 34,815 for the series against Los Angeles. Wrigley's capacity is 41,118...

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