A Simple Plan
Cubs Make It Look Easy in 6-2 Win

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

There, now wasn't that easy? The Cubs pitched pretty well, tagged nine hits, and made zero errors. End result: A 6-2 win over the Oakland A's. This was essentially the way we thought things were going to go before the season, as Ryan Dempster gave up two runs in 6 2/3 innings, Derrek Lee hit a home run (partially atoning for his two errors last night), and Alfonso Soriano and Starlin Castro each had two RBIs. Also, Soriano had his first sacrifice bunt in four years. Maybe this could be the start of something good. Maybe, right?

ESPN Chicago: Lee's HR backs Dempster as Cubs pound A's [+ video]
Chicago Tribune: For a night, Cubs' troubles disappear in 6-2 victory
Daily Herald: Despite 6-2 win, Cubs concur: Situation urgent
MLB: Thing of the past: Lee redeems himself [+ video]

Ad It Up
Large Noodle (?!?!) Sign Comes to Wrigley Field
Suddenly, there's a large yellow noodle on the west side of the Friendly Confines with the phrase "You know you love it" on the side. What's the deal? Turns out it's essentially a large ad for Kraft Foods. "We'll continue to generate incremental revenue for the ballclub so we can continue to help the performance on the field," said Wally Hayward, the Cubs' executive vice-president of marketing. Seems like we should get used to it: "The Cubs aren't going to stop with a Toyota sign and a noodle," predicts Crain's business writer Ed Sherman.

Chicago Breaking Sports: Cubs install giant noodle ad outside Wrigley Field
A League of Her Own: Cubs live game thread: Cubs take my advice; fail...
Crain's: Toyota ad, noodle don't diminish Wrigley; more signs to come

The Opposite of Awesome
Two Cubs Make Anti-All-Star Team
With the All-Star game nearly upon us, it's only natural to start mulling who might make the squad. But SI took a look at players who are most definitely NOT all-stars, and sadly, two of our boys made the list. We're thinking you can guess them, as Aramis Ramirez was introduced with "Rarely has a former All-Star performed at this low level at this early an age." Derrek Lee also got a nod as a reserve at first base, while Lance Berkman was named the starter. So that's bad, but there was some good news: The White Sox had three starters. Whew.

Sports Illustrated: The all-not-stars of 2010

Steady As She Goes
Don't Blow up Team Just Yet, ESPN advises
Even though the Cubs won last night, The prevailing belief is that they're going nowhere and may as well trade what they can. ESPN Chicago columnist Jon Greenberg recommends that all the team needs is just a little patience. "They currently sit 6 1/2 games behind Cincinnati and St. Louis," he notes. "That's within hunting distance, there's no question about it." We'll give it a little more time, but given that they're 8-12 over their last 20 games, the clock is almost out.

ESPN Chicago: The clock is ticking on these Cubs

Play that Funky Music
Cubs Ditch Organ for 'Real' Tunes
On a recent Rant thread, we noted that Wrigley Field has abandoned organ music before Cubs batters and now plays recorded songs. Some of his suggestions include: "Trouble Man" by Marvin Gaye for Carlos Zambrano, "Redemption Song" by Bob Marley and the Wailers for Carlos Silva, and "How to Disappear Completely" by Radiohead for Kosuke Fukudome. We've got to give it up to Sullivan for having a widely varied iPod. Meanwhile, The always-good Onion chimes with a story about the organ player getting into "heavier, darker" stuff.

Chicago Breaking Sports: Cubs end organ-played at-bat music at Wrigley
Onion Sports Network: Cubs organ player getting into heavier, darker stuff

It was bound to happen: Someone made an awesome mash-up of Lou Piniella's recent rant and Metallica. Enjoy... The Cubs have joined the sabermetrics revolution, hiring numbers whiz Ari Kaplan to be their manager of statistical analysis... Looks like Aramis Ramirez could return for the Seattle series, which begins on Tuesday.

Submit your Rant on Facebook
*Don't be a Sox fan... be clever. If it's smart enough, we'll publish it here.
What's this?